


They Call It Puppy Love

by Daisy_Rivers



Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Devotion, Fear of Abandonment, Jealousy, Love, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 14:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20707811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisy_Rivers/pseuds/Daisy_Rivers
Summary: Just a little story from Mía's point of view. Nobody will ever love Rafael the way she does.





	They Call It Puppy Love

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the characters listed are only mentioned. This story is all about Mía and the man she loves.

I love Rafael more than he loves me – oh, he says he loves me, even says he doesn’t know what he’d do without me, but he’s still out the door when his work needs him. “I don’t love work more than I love you,” he says, “but you occupy two different spaces in my life. You can’t really be part of my work.”

It’s such a _writerly_ thing to say. He’s good with words, but he can’t really fool me. Why aren’t my feelings as important as his? If I can’t be part of his work, why do so many others get to collaborate with him? Daveed, Utkarsh, Janina, Jasmine, Anthony. Most recently, he was doing something with Leslie. Did he tell me what? No, of course not, but if it’s Leslie, it’s music.

I would like to point out that Leslie’s wife was present while Leslie and Rafa were working. I was home by myself.

I hate it when he goes away. I understand that sometimes he has to travel. I don’t see, though, why I can’t go with him. He makes sure that I’ll have everything I need while he’s gone, but that doesn’t mean I like staying home.

“No, you can’t come with me,” he says. Is his voice really sad, or am I just imagining it? “You’ll be fine. You’ll be hanging out with Janina, and you’ll have a great time.” Of course I love spending time with Janina. She’s a complete sweetheart, but no matter how much fun I have with her, not being with Rafa every moment is almost more than I can bear. How can he not understand that I need him all the time? I do what I can to pass the time when he’s gone. Sometimes I visit friends like Janina or Emmy; sometimes I spend some time taking classes. Occasionally, I even go off to a nice place on my own. No matter what I do, though, the hours pass like days, the days like weeks.

Then he comes home, and in the first minutes of being reunited with him, I’m swept up in the joy of our love. I throw myself at him, and he laughs and hugs me, and tells me how much he missed me, and for a few minutes everything is wonderful. Later, though, my hurt feelings may come back. I’ve been waiting for him for weeks, with only the very occasional FaceTime visit. I’ve had concerns – there have been signs that he has been with someone else. But if I show even the slightest suspicion, he laughs at me and brushes it off, and just refuses to discuss it. Then if I don’t want to get close, he accuses me of being cold. Every time he goes away and returns, I’m reminded that he is my world. What he calls coldness is my very real fear that someday, he won’t come home to me.

Of course, in the end, I always give in. I just can’t resist his smile and his loving hands. Within a few hours of his return, we’re curled up together on the couch watching TV. We have a special blanket that we share, and he tucks it around us, and then he puts his arm around me, and I snuggle up close to him. I like to kiss his neck, just soft little kisses that make him giggle because he’s ticklish there. I like to fall asleep with my head on his lap. He likes that too. He strokes my head and my back, and he tells me how pretty I am and how much he loves me. I couldn’t even tell you what we watch on TV, because all my attention is on him.

Our nights are the best time. That’s what I miss most when he’s away. I never sleep well without him, so when he comes home, I can’t get enough of sleeping with him in our bed. I press myself up against his beautiful body — did I mention he has a beautiful body? He’s so warm, and I feel so safe and comfortable with him. Sometimes when we’re in bed, he sings to me. There are sweet little songs that he’s composed just for me. I know how lucky I am. People all around the world listen to his music. That’s what he’s famous for; that’s why he has to travel. But I get to listen to my special songs that no one else hears. I never want to leave that bed, but he tells me we can’t stay there forever. Even as he’s saying he loves me, he’ll say we have to get up. I hate it, but then he tells me that we have to get outside and get fresh air and exercise, and I know he’s just looking out for me. He makes sure we have a healthy breakfast, and then he tells me what he has planned for the day. Sometimes we do a little photo shoot because he likes to take pictures of me, and I try to look as pretty as I can for him. If it’s a really good day, I get to go out with him. He always drives, and he doesn’t want me to distract him by touching him or kissing him in the car, so usually I just look out the window. Sometimes I sneak a kiss, and he laughs, but he tells me to stop. It doesn’t much matter to me where we go, as long as we’re together. We go to the beach or the park, or to visit friends. It’s fun when a lot of us get together and hang out by the pool, enjoying the sunshine and warm weather. Somebody cooks some great food on the grill, and there are plenty of cold drinks. There’s usually a basketball or volleyball game going on. I’m terrible at both of them, but I love to watch Rafa play. I really think he’s the best player at any sport, but the other day, Utkarsh was disparaging his basketball skills, pretending to be joking, but not really. I tried not to get angry, but Utkarsh isn’t exactly Steph Curry, if you know what I mean, so I don’t think he has any right to criticize Rafael. Later, he and Rafa were talking, so I went off on my own for a while. I found his basketball, and I destroyed it. I literally chewed it to shreds, and I took great satisfaction in doing it. Rafa pretended to be upset with me, but I know he didn’t really mind. I don’t know if Utkarsh was upset or not. I hope so. Sorry, not sorry, that’s the way I am. I don’t tolerate anybody criticizing my Rafael.

Last night, when we got into bed, Rafa put his arm around me, and he said, “You know, sometimes, you are a pain in the ass.”

I just sniffed. He doesn’t mean it when he says things like that. I nuzzled his neck and made him laugh, and then I started kissing him, hoping that just this once, he’d let me kiss him on the mouth, but no. He was laughing, but he still pushed me away, “Not on the mouth Mía,” he told me for the millionth time. “Not. On. The. Mouth.”

Maybe not this time, but it’s my goal. I’ll get there.

**Author's Note:**

> Mía did once destroy Utkarsh's basketball. I don't know the details of the aftermath.  
The part about kissing on the mouth not being permitted is also true. Poor Mía.


End file.
